WOW How long has it been?

Yesh it has been awhile since I have blogged...I have been in a funk that just isnt cool anymore :/

I now work at Dominos.Only on the weekends :( though. I want to try to get another job ;)

My school is at a stand still once again...I am just like my mom :C I just cant find the motivation to do it...it really sucks because I really want to go to college! >:D I really want to. But not the community college kind but the dorm room kind. Kay is going to one and I really want to ^_^ But to do so I have to get a scholarship and there is NO way I am...since I am home schooled and all...I wonder if there is something I can do to make this all better...Maybe I should get anti-depresses, that might be for the best...but I dont know how I will go and get them and all that, since James is my ride nowdays and he doesnt want me on them :/ what to do, what to do..

Well one good thing James and I have worked things out ^-^ and are stronger now! I really hope things can stay like this...You see I have felt like his love was slipping from me...Ever since he met Ashley I have felt like i was second best. Like he didnt have to show me how much he loved me, etc etc. Well I got fed up with it. If I meant soo much to him he needed to start showing it (and I dont mean in buying me things either!) I told him I just wanted to be friends. I loved him soo much, but things have changed...and by changing I just didnt feel all that happy anymore :( He started crying and just stairing at me. I told him about all the things that bothered me. All the times my heart hurt just thinking about. All the things he did for others but not me (and how I REALLY wanted him to do it to me(like breakfast!))
He kept nodding and crying, finally he said the words I really needed to hear. (Not telling you) and I started crying I told him I was sorry over and over and he just kept hugging me tightly (after about a minute I realized he probably thought me saying Im sorry that I was leaving him) When he said I love you soo much, I looked him in the eye and said I love you to, I will never leave...amd me kissed and hugged and cried. I felt soo happy to be in his arms and him holding me so tightly. I dont want to ever forget that night <3 The night I opened up and finally put all my thoughts and feelings on the line. Me and him fixed it and ever since then I have felt like it use to. I dont blame him or anyone else for all the pain I felt, I never told anyone instead I kept pushing away and pushing away...

On to more EXCITING news! I got the complete Chobits manga (^-^) Its in the new 2 collectors edition books. I love them soo much!!! I also got four Aero shirts (which I would never in a million years buy for myself!) and Mudd jeans (WHICH I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR!!!!!!!) all that is earlier Christmas!!!! I wish I could say I was getting really awesome gothic clothes...but my mom isnt that awesome and my dad...well I might be getting awesome gothic clothes from him :/ We well just have to wait and see. Gram just gave me money (which I already spent) on food at subway and a Cancer shirt from Wal-mart ^-^ I love that shirt! I have been working hard on making sure chey got a special christmas...I got her complete Powerpuff Girls seasons, and Laptop (which I gave to her early) Futurama seasons 1-4 and a cosplay. Which I just got to get the gloves, mustache and shoes for. (I already spent $100 on it :( but it was worth it)

Ok it is really late and I need sleep, gots to work tomorrow...*sigh* I hope I find my Motivation soon, or else I am going to fall behind ANOTHER year -_-' Any tips?


~Ari M.

Things and people.

Maybe I am paranoid? I dont really care. I try to ignore the stares, and all the whispers. But lately it has been getting worse...this is way my mom took me out of school art a young age. She was worried I would turn out like her. Even though for SO long I havent really been near a lot of people, I am now. I like being surrounded by people I know...even if some hurt me, I still want them around. I know a few talk about me, and not in a good way.

Yes I am 18, and yes I know who I am. I'm not someone who tries to follow the crowd. I dress however I want, I act how a like, and I dont care what other people say about me...just my friends...I worry what they will say/think. If your someone random I couldnt care less if you think Kay is hotter them me (deviant art, and SHE IS <3!!!) I dont care if my outfit looks wannabe-ish/slutty to you. I know its not. But if anyone of my friends think that, its hurts. If you think I am mean its hurts. The two things that are really important to me is James (1st) and then my friends (2nd) Kay, Rae, JJ, Sara, Liz, Mike, and Heather. They are soo important!!!! (I am not including anyone that WAS my friend, but kept hurting me.)


What brought this on, is stress. Simple. Plus a fight I had with someone about a month ago. I finally stopped talking to her, and I was getting over what had happened. (long story, you dont need to know) when she texts me out of the blue. I had been thinking about her, for she kept popping into my head a lot. In the end I told I forgive her, just I will never watch any of her videos, or read anything she posts online expect her Twitter. Which I am thinking about changing that as well...I dont want to get to close, because I will be hurt by her again and again. She doesnt act all that nice to me. I understand she has had problems with people before. but so have I. Everyone is different and so I have moved on, she hasnt.

I think its the Holidays that have been infecting me :( My family is tore apart, Me and James dont have our own place or car so our life is planned AROUND others plans. Its all so frustrating!!!!

Also at work everyone acts weird around me. James can easily talk to them and kid. Its a little harder for me. I still have some of those walls up. Im trying to brake them down, but I know if I do, I will get hurt. Maybe not at first, but I will.

I know noone will read these, fine by me. I really use this to get things outta my head and writing them down helps me think better. I post them so my friends that I love can read them and see whats going on, but no one seems to have the time anymore...I dont know why I even try anymore...

Ari.

Monopoly!!!

The other day, me, James and Chey played the old game Monopoly :D Chey quit after about a hour, me and James split the money and put all her property up for sale again.

   Me and James continued playing, he was winning and winning. I lost.

BUT! before I went out I played the game, in a weird, cheating, FUN fashion.
If you ever try this way, make sure you are playing with someone who is a good sport, and the fact that they will win either way doesnt hurt lol

I landed on one of the yellow spaces with a hotel on it. I pulled all the 20’s from the bank and paid it off, and then the tens. lol. James was laughing and telling me nooo, but he still took the money lol. I threw half the 500’s in the Free Parking (Which I landed on lol) James made me pay all my money when I had it. After a while, and his money stack having more then the bank XD, I decided to try to win ONE LAST TIME! I convinced  him to put all his money into free parking. As I did the same, just with all the money from the bank lol. We rolled and rolled and then somehow we both ended up at the Just Visiting 10 spaces from Free Parking. James said only one dice now. so we rolled, and rolled and ROLLED and I went ONE F-ING SPACE!!!!! then he landed RIGHT ON IT!!!!   T^T I last wahhhh! lol  Oh well I have other chances lol.

And that was my Monopoly game lol.

I am going to a fair Sunday, if the rain lets up!  and the Otaku Club has a meeting Saturday I hope people will show up! We have to get more people in there and a bigger place. Dustin is allowing us to use his place but I am thinking that will only last a little while, before something runes it…oh well.

The rain is putting me to sleep lol

Ari-Kitty  =^._.^=

decisions decisions...

I have took some of my blogs down...I decided not to go that way...

I really have to keep my mind together >< Okies fav picture of James and mine anniversary


I just LOVE this photo ^-^

Anywhos I am playing Professor Layton and the Curious Village again. For the 4th time. I will then play Professor Layton and the Diabolical Box. For the second time. Then after those two I shall play the Professor Layton and the Unwound Future. FOR THE 1ST TIME!!!!
Im sooo excited!!!! and to share my happness with you, my wonderful viewer, is a photo of Layton and Luke ^-^ Lolz I found this on Deviant art. Its by http://konirathax.deviantart.com/ Enjoy ^-^

BLAH!

I AM SICK! I HATE BEING SICK!!!! WHAY MUST I BE SICK!!!!!

Now excuse me while I go die XP

Trying to fix something...

I have gotten a lot more snappish at James of late, and I figured out why. I miss Ashley. It was because of him that I had so many problems being friends with her, and I am tired of listening to everyone else. I want my own life, and not one wrapped around James's life. I do not want that, yet it seemed to be happening. So Ash, if you ever read this, I wanna try again. I want things to be different then what they are :) I wanna try, at least try.

If you dont then fine with me. I understand ^-^

Okies well Thats all I wanted to say, Oh! and that I am making me and you a video, I just gotta find the right song L:

Ari

life YAY!

Today was...awesomewonderfulconfusinghurtfulpissedjealous all at once! lol First hurtful, I awoke with a freaking back and neck pain >:( then even more hurtful because I forgot to throw James work closes IN the basket, not on the floor so he was all like D: what am I going to wear kind of thing, and then :/ he figured out what to do ^-^' and then we went to Salvation Army to look for Dustin a new chair instead I found the puffy part of the 'Princess dress' That I am going to use in a cosplay ^-^
After I bought it James put it on IN THE STORE and walked out wearing it! I love him SOOO much XD. Then we headed over to sunset where I found a shit load of things I wanted...but I dont have any room in my room so I had to leave them T^T Then we went and got ice cream at the Coffie X-Change cafe on sunset, on the way there James and Dustin was goofing around and I told them to stop, james did it one more time, so I took my broken (YES BROKEN )

ring and handed back to him. He looked SOOO deprissed :( I wanted to cry and what I had done. I then took it back from him and was all like l: Great two times in one day...I must be going for the record. In which he started smiling and said nope not two :) I looked at him >_> YOU ASS! He then started laughing and I was laughing :D
After the ice cream James had to go to work, and me, and chey and dustin went to the Antic Mall on Sunset....I found chey a original Nightmare on Elm street 4 poster. I gotz it for her :D and I got the How to Train your Dragon novel ^-^ YAY!!!!

On to the Asheboro Mall!!!! Where I got James his birthday gift(that just leaves our 4 year anniversary gift) Call of Duty : World of War, with the Nazi Zombies XD, I then got chey a shirt at JCPennys, and a Freddy vs Jason vs Ash comic, and then we headed home >_< My day was really something else ^-^

Also Chey scratched Dustin beside the eye <_< She is feeling really REALLY bad right now, I already tried all I could think of to cheer her up, to NO luck v_v What can I say I am not all that great for cheering up someone -_-

Okies I am tired, and I have a buttload of schoolwork to do (yes on a Saturday)Thats ways I can go to Jorden lake tomorries!!!!

I am also working on MY SUPER EPIC OF AWESOMNESS VIDEO!!!! Just wait, it will kick the ass of all my others one ^-^

Otaku kitty Ari out!